Lately, I have been thinking a lot about what I want to be when I grow up. You see, I want to be proud to tell my children and grandchildren what I do, whether that be a homemaker, a lawyer, a doctor, a volunteer or anything else. I want them to know that they can reach for their dreams and if their dreams change, that is okay, because that’s life and God speaks to us in different ways at different times. Lately, it has been a struggle. You see, I am a nurse. I decided that is what I wanted to do in college. Being 18 or 19 or 20 and having to decide your entire career path is very daunting and overwhelming. So being the analytical person I am, I did personality tests, career tests, talked with career counselors, perused all the careers my personality matched. Basically I spent a semester to a year of my life contemplating this ever daunting decision that would forever change my path of life. Or so I was led to passionately believe.
Now I am all for career counseling; please don’t misunderstand. I think nursing is a noble profession, and I think I made the right decision for myself with the knowledge I had at the time. I try really hard to not live with regrets, because what are regrets? Nothing but pining over your past life thinking about what might have been. That is no way to live. And I believe, even if you did make a bad decision, that your past is part of who you are today. It does not define you, but to deny your past is to deny yourself.
What I have struggled with the last few years is thinking I had to stay a nurse forever. That it wasn’t okay for my life or passions to change. I am just now coming to the realization that it doesn’t have to stay that way. I should have figured that out a long time ago. There were several women in my nursing class who were not the traditional age for college and in fact it was their second career choice. They had different careers. So why have I felt this way all these years?
I worked so hard to graduate nursing school. I studied constantly, I had no life, I was constantly worrying about falling behind (more on worries another day). I lost hours of sleep. Just about the only relationships I had were the people in my nursing class (who were awesome by the way). There were days when I stayed up until the early hours of the morning, studying and working on projects. The next day I had clinical, and then the next night was the same. It just seemed a shame to waste what I had spent five years studying and working towards. Not to mention, that I am still paying off school loans (I chose to go to a private school). I have worked in all different arrays of the nursing profession. I worked in an intensive care unit, a rheumatology clinic, a medical surgical floor, and I now work in the operating room. It’s not that I don’t enjoy what I do, but it’s that I have lost my passion, I have lost my way. I have become apathetic, and that is what I’m not proud to tell my children. Now, maybe that just means that I need to find a different avenue of nursing. If that is not the case, then I have to accept that I may need to pursue a different passion, one that I can be excited to dream about I feel like right now,
God has put it on my heart to start this blog. I want to be able to reach out to women all over the world, who just need a little encouragement or don’t feel like they are enough. They are enough, and so much more. They are God’s daughters. You are beautiful because God chose you before you were even born, and you were made in his image.
Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart.”
Genesis 1:27, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God, he created them, male and female, he created them.”
Perhaps, like me, you are struggling with thinking you have to stay in the career you chose, but I no longer believe that is true. In fact, that is preposterous. As moms and daughters and sisters, we should always dare to dream. Ask God to help you with your dreams and show you the way. It might take you down a path you would never expect, but as long as you are following him, it will be the right path. As for me, I pray this blog is also God’s dream for me and that he can use me to inspire and encourage woman for His glory. And if he says no, then I pray he will direct me in the way I should go.
Psalms 23:1-3, The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul, He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.”
Keep Dreaming and being your extraordinary you. There is none other like you, none so beautiful as in the eyes of the Beholder.
Matthew 5:16 (ESV): In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.