Stopping the Hate Talk: 5 ways to a Better You!

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

“I hate my hair, my arms, my legs.” I look so fat in these pants.” Why can’t I look like that other girl? She always looks so perfect; she makes me sick. ” If I had all the money in the world and could afford a personal trainer, I could look like that too.”

How many times do we say these things to ourselves or about others? Why are we so degrading to ourselves and other women? It doesn’t matter your age: young girl, teenager, young adult, older adult, pre baby body., post baby body. When does it stop? When do you decide that you are enough and that God made you the way you are. As a teenager, I thought myself pretty; I thought myself confident. It wasn’t until middle adulthood that I started to doubt myself. There have been plenty of times that I have looked in the mirror and thought that I did not like the way I looked. Part of my problem is that I have not been treating my body right and I have had two babies and it really does change your body! What do you hate about yourself? What do you love about yourself? Which one do you think about the most?

Self-worth is defined as the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person; self esteem; self respect. Do you place value in yourself? Do you have respect for yourself? Do you think of yourself as worthy and beautiful?

All this self degrading hate talk stops here. IT STOPS HERE!I challenge you here-forth that when you look in the mirror you find one thing you like about yourself, just one. Daily. Yes, DAILY!

There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8: 31-39), but He still wants us to take care of ourselves and our bodies. The following things help me to take care of myself and help me feel good about my own self-esteem.

1.GET UP AND MOVE!  Whether it is taking a brisk walk around the neighborhood, an aerobics video in the comfort of your home, or training for a race, get up and move. Start TODAY! Even ten minutes a day can make a difference. Make it work. Maybe that means climbing stairs during a short break at work or parking in the furthest parking lot. Sometimes, for me that means having a dance party with my 3 year old. Or I have an aerobic app on my phone that lets me choose 5 to 10 minute increments. Sometimes my 3 year old and 5 month old join in the fun. One ting I’m going to try in the next few weeks is running before my husband leaves for work!

2. EAT HEALTHY! Of course there are lots of arguments about what is the best diet or supplement our there. Think before you eat! Is this particular food going to make me feel good or energized? I’m not saying to never have that piece of chocolate, I’m just suggesting you think twice about it. This is definitely one of my biggest challenges. I have a huge sweet tooth! It’s about lifestyle change. While I don’t follow it strictly and I am not an expert, my personal belief is that a plant based diet is best for health and energy. Commit to make a change. Just eating more veggies and fruit can make a difference! Progress not perfection!

3. CHALLENGE YOUR MIND! Take time to learn. Read, whether an actual book, a website, eBooks, newspaper, or a magazine. The world is full of great minds. You are one of them!

4. FEED YOUR SOUL! This is the most important point. Make time to pray or read your Bible and talk to God. I try to get up before my children in order for this to happen. Now lately, that has not gone like I planned. I have an almost 6 month old who wakes up in the middle of the night, and well, I am grumpy if I don’t get enough sleep. On those days, I try to read while I’m nursing him. Many times I’m praying in the car on my way to work. Those two things, especially the prayer, make a huge difference in how my the rest of my day goes, and how I feel about myself as a person. I am a much better mom, wife, and friend, when I make time to pray and read God’s word. End of story.

5. TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF! I don’t care what that looks like or how much time you say you don’t have. For me it looks like time to write or time for a hike, a walk around the neighborhood, sipping on a hot cup of tea or coffee on my back deck. Coffee or lunch or breakfast with a friend, even if it has to be over the phone. Perhaps you can wake up 10 minutes before the rest of your house, just to sip and drink your coffee. Maybe once a month, you can find a babysitter or your significant other can watch the children, and you can go get coffee, by yourself or with a close friend. Find a  walking partner. Train for a race with your co-workers. Sometimes, I take an extra long shower because that may be the only time I have had to myself that day. I breathe in the steam and take pleasure in the solitude and not having to explain what I’m doing. Everybody leaves you alone when you are in the shower (most of the time).

Challenge yourself to love more. We don’t need all the hate talk. Life is hard enough without being so mean to ourselves

What are some tips you have on increasing self-worth?

Thanks for reading! Please share with those extraordinary women you think need a reminder of how awesome they are!

I have purchased my own website now, so I will be getting away from word press and starting my blog over there! It’s still a work in progress, so be sure to join me at ExtraOrdinary Living  to see what adventures lie ahead.

 

15 Simple Ways to Show Someone You Care

Recently, I asked my husband what he considered the most important things he needed to do for his day to be successful. His response, quite frankly, surprised me. Not because of what he said, but more so because of what I had in mind. I was thinking along the lines of housework, meal planning., etc…  He quickly made me realize what really mattered. His list was 1. Spend time with your spouse. 2 Spend time with your children 3. Do something nice for somebody every day.

The last one is what really honestly floored me and totally made me reevauate, well, everything.

How do you do that exactly? How do you do something nice for somebody every day. It seems like such a simple tasks, but when I actually tried to put those words into practice, it proved to be quite difficult. The majority of my days are spent with a 30 something inch little person. Even when we leave the house, my focus is on not losing sight of her, keeping her from running out in front of a car, and from destroying other people’s property. You know, just your usual day spent chasing a toddler. To say or do somthig nice for somebody else??? Are you serious??

My husband’s mindset is right, even if you don’t do it correctly all the time and even if keeping your toddler from destroying other’s property might be considered your good deed for the day (even if they didn’t know it! :)). Perhaps, my service would be walking out of my house showered and with make up applied to my face. Gasp! They, being the world,  have no idea what they would have been presented with if I had not left my house somewhat prepared.  In all seriousness though, I sat down to to actually think of ways to actually be nice to somebody that did not include my toddler not coloring on their wall or demanding a 5th sucker. 🙂 I came up with the following list:

1. Wash your loved one’s car (You could either do this by hand or if you despise that you could take it to a basic car wash; I prefer the latter)

2. Freeze their favorite summer fruit and then bring it out in the winter for them to enjoy (this was inspiration from my friend Lisa)

3. Send an old fashioned card. You know, the ones you buy in a store and put a stamp on an envelope.

4. Send a simple text message telling your loved one how much you appreciate him/her.  It will put a smile on their face.

5. Prepare their coffee or tea just the way they like it or buy their favorite beverage

6. Bring home ice cream unannounced or whatever their favorite treat may be.

7. Flowers (even those who say they don’t care about flowers appreciate the gesture occasionally). It doesn’t have to be a dozen red roses; a simple bouquet from the grocery store will suffice.

8. Keep a bag of candy or gum at your workspace for co workers.

9. Do a chore someone else in your family always does.

10. Hold the door open, for anyone! It’s always appreciated.

11. Pick up somebody else’s trash. Sometimes the best deeds are those unnoticed.

12. Take cookies or donuts to a firehouse or to your work place or husband’s work, doctor’s office etc.. (They do not have to be homemade!)

13. Put $5 dollars in a library book or pay somebody’s library fine.

14. Try the pay it forward thing at a fast food restaurant or if you can afford it, find someone’s meal in a restaurant you can pay for.

15. Call a friend you haven’t talked to in awhile out of the blue.

What are some of your ideas for a simple kindness you can do for somebody else? I would love to hear from you. I challenge you to practice an act of kindness at least once a week for the next month. Once a week is really not very much, you can do it! Follow me as I attempt to meet the challenge as well at #showsomeoneyoucare

Proverbs 16:24, “Kind words are like honey-sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

Galatians 6:9, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good.”

I Challenge You to Serve: Weekly inspriation on service

This week is all about service. The past week started out with me having jury duty. I, of course, was not looking forward to it (except for it did fall on a day I had to work, so I wasn’t too sad about missing work). Once I arrived at the courthouse, they talked logistics and judiciary process for about an hour. Then they started calling out names for the jury panels. They called eight panels, and about 30 people did not get called. I was one of those 30, so they excused us.  By that point I was actually starting to look forward to it. It would be something different, a break in the ordinary, and a good experience. In  essence, it was serving our country. I thought of all the soldiers serving our country now and in the past, and I thought serving on jury duty could be the least I could do. Hence, I decided for this week’s theme to focus on articles and inspiration about service.  I thought of all the times that I focus on myself and my family, and how little I focus on others. This, of course, is in direct contrast to what God teaches us. Of course, I don’t intentionally not serve others, I am just very busy and wrapped up in a life filled with toddlerhood, work, marriage, and pregnancy. I also thought about how much I want my child to lead a life of Christian service and humility. I can only teach that through my actions. Now, before children, I used to volunteer at random places quite frequently: at a volunteer clinic, a literary clinic, habitat for humanity, church activities.  I have since fallen off the rocker, if you will.  The following is some inspiration to start a life of service, for me and hopefully for you. All that to say: I do believe you have to take time for yourself, and by that I just mean, some kind of activity, even if for ten minutes to help you relax and rejuvenate, so that you may serve others with a humble heart.

1. I recently read an article titled “Four Totally Unselfish Things You Should Do Today”. Unfortunately, I forgot to save the link, so I do not have the link for you to read through the whole article. (I promise I will do better next time! I am learning!) My favorite quote from the article stated, “And that’s a shame, because every job-and every person—deserves to be treated with respect. Every job is important. Every employee is important.”

This especially rings true for me in my line of expertise. I work in an environment where you have people making six figures to those barely making ends meet, living  paycheck to paycheck, and all income levels in between. Somehow, we all have to work together. From doctor and manager, to nurse, to cleaning attendant, and to the maintenance crew. If one person fails at their job, then it could cause immense harm. Somebody else, if not multiple people will have to work ten times as hard. We have triple checks and double checks and triple checks on all of the previous checks. The ultimate goal is to ensure optimal safety and quality care to those in the most vulnerable position of having surgery. These people cannot speak for themselves; we are their voice. If one part of the system fails, then potentially someone’s mother, child, husband, sister, or loved one may be harmed.  Every person has to serve and work in some capacity to make the system work.  I wish we could all realize that and recognize the efforts of all parties involved and serve those people. Let every person know that they are important.

2. I am currently in the process of completing the “Make Over Your Morning” course, from moneysavingmom.com.  On Day four of the course, it asks the following question: Ask you spouse what he considers the top two to three tasks are to consider a day successful. Ironically, it stated that you might be surprised by the answer he provides. So I asked my husband, and I was surprised. I, of course, was thinking he would say something on the lines of housekeeping tasks. His top three: Spend time with God, Spend time with Family, and to go along with our theme, do something nice for somebody else every day. What an awesome thought, to do one thing nice for somebody everyday, one thing.  It doesn’t have to take up most of your day or be planned or it can be planned. Perhaps you can make cookies for your neighbor, mow their side of the yard. Perhaps you can let someone in front of you at the grocery store line? Perhaps you can pay for someone’s coffee or meal just out of the blue? Even something as simple as a compliment or letting someone know they are important. It could be for your family, co-worker, neighbor, church member, or complete stranger.  I challenge you this week to take five minutes every day to do something kind for somebody.  I would love to hear any other ideas you have. My kindness for today day: baking cookies that my husband would like. (It was his idea, after all.)

1 Corinthinians 12: 4-6 “There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in diferent ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.”

3. What better example of service is there then to look to the Bible.  One of my favorite stories of service is the Parable of the Good Samaritan.

“A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side. Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him “Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.” Luke 10: 30-35 

Jesus tells us to go and do the same (verse 37). Don’t be the person who leaves the person for dead or looks the other way.  Be the person who picks up the trash, buys a homeless man a meal, helps the elderly carry their load. I am challenging myself as well. It is so easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and forget to look around.  Look around, and be the one who practices compassion. Follow along with me as we complete our challenge together.

I will leave you with words to a favorite hymnal. Check out the following version on you tube. Beautiful! ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rznoe3zKxM)

“Make me a servant, humble and meek

Lord let me lift up , those who are weak.

May the prayer of my heart always be

Make me a servant, Make me a servant,

Make me a servant, today”